Just...one. more. day.posted Dec 13th 2011, 12:35PM
Mood: Claustrophobic
Music: "Do I Have To Cry For You" - Nick Carter
My day, every day: wake up, go to Niko's and wait outside in the cold for him to come out because i cant go in his house because i have bed bugs. go to school, go through mundane classes and become either angry or sad for one reason or another, go home and stay there until the next morning, listening to fighting all the fucking time from my parents and sometimes my neighbors, text a couple of friends, try to fight my way out of depression enough to do at least SOME homework, debate the triviality of life, debate thoughts after countless, useless thoughts, decide whether or not to eat, go to bed. T_T anyone tell me what's wrong here? -dripping sarcasm-
all the while listening to my own voice speak in my head the thoughts i refuse to speak out loud, like a masochistic, twisted spiral of Stockholm syndrome where im addicted to possibilities that keep me alive with hopes that may damn well never come true.
all the while watching the smile on my face come like a habit, always there when it isnt welcome.
all the while laughing, smiling and going on feeling love for those who dont even know -or appreciate, honestly, most of the time- how much i care about them.
all the while... listening to and fending off thoughts of "oh fuck it all, why not die? you'll do it eventually... come on, the knife's right there... right there..."
...the only things keeping me alive right now are these: 1) Tuyuq coming -eventually- to pennsylvania. 2) my brother -eventually- getting out of jail. 3.) niko and other such friends' reactions and 4.) the desperate hope of eventually living on my own, though this last one is debatable as i am slowly beginning to loathe the idea of life in itself.
.....and all the while I smile and wave. And you all believe the pretense, just as I don't want you to. (or do I? who knows anymore...)
Live in Downingtown, PA
i like people who are honest. and i love chocolate, video games, reading, drawing, writing and biking.
i hate it when people lie to others, unless if it's for good reason. i especially hate stuck up people who think they are better than others. i mean, come on! you're human too.
i have a DA account, but i don't check it as much as i check SA. There are two; Ryusakilovr17.deviantart.com and Blackfirespirit.deviantart.com.
Jeeze..... Well, if it's not on the Wii then it's no use anyway. It has to be a Wii game, which is a shame because developers don't feel like selling their games to Nintendo ever since they realized that people were getting tired of the motion control gimmick.
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wooow. that's an 
ox 360 / Playstation 3 game, and it's like $30 just used, let alone new. You realize this?
